*Diner music* Scene opens. Jingling of a door, dishes, diner chatter, and bell sounds throughout scene Kemper Gimme 2 eggs sunny side up, on toast. A hashbrown. Hmmm.and 2 pancakes, with butter and syrup on the side. I think that’s it. Wait! Can I get your number too- Bill “-Hello--don’t give him your number, he’s really not worth your time-” Kemper “What the hell? What are you doing here?” Bill “Can I sit down?” Kemper “Why are you here? No. No you can’tsit down” *clothing ruffles, chair movements” “Stop, stop. Get up. Get out. Leave me alone” Bill “I just want to ask you a couple of questions. I’ll leave after.” Kemper “Woah there shortstack, I’ve served my time. Haven’t done anything since. Else I wouldn’t be able to sit at this diner. Or see that waitress…. Anyway, I’m not under arrest, I don’t have to answer nothing” Bill “If you haven't done anything you wouldn't mind answering my questions then would you...
Dear Sam,
ReplyDeleteYou have always done a lot of work on this---the video above and storyboard put you ahead of the rest of the class in terms of organization. If you can, work on balancing the sound of the cars and the voice--your voice needs to be louder than the sounds of the cars when you're speaking. You've also made this somewhat more general---not too specialized. Keep pushing yourself to think about audience and keeping our interest. I have very little interest in cars, but I can get into this more if I understand its impact on my day to day life (as you have started to do). You lose me a bit when you are talking about the engine...Finally, what is the second level to this? What is it that you are getting to that cars represent in some way? Is there something more to this story that says something about life? An excellent example here though--you have done A LOT of work and it shows.